The most important thing to remember is that all wedding toasts should not be offensive to either the bride’s family or the groom’s family. Something that may be funny to one family may seem to be offensive and in poor taste to another family. Therefore it is good etiquette to make certain that the toasts are tasteful to both families. The speaker should also think about how formal the reception is. If the reception is very formal and black tie, the toast should be formal. A reception at a local bar or restaurant may be the proper place for more humorous stories. Be sure that the bride and groom prior to the wedding to be sure of what they are expecting as far as wedding toasts.
So who is the first to speak at a wedding reception? At a traditional reception, the best man usually goes first. Etiquette suggests that for a best man toast, he should tell a few stories about the bride and groom. Remember, this needs to be clean so that no one is offended by the toast. The best man should say a thank you to the parents of the bride and groom for helping them get to this special day. This is a special day for the bride so the bride should be toasted by the best man at the end of his speech.
After the best man gives a toast, proper wedding etiquette calls for the groom to go next. The groom should thank both sets of parents, the guests, his bride, and the bridesmaids. The groom should comment on the beauty of the bridesmaids and thank them for all of their help. When the groom toasts his bride, he may want to include the story of how they met with a little humor and sweet teasing. Appropriate etiquette would never have the groom tease the bride so that she is embarrassed or talk about the bridesmaids so much that he makes his new bride jealous.
Lastly, the bride’s father should say a few words. Etiquette suggests that he welcome the guests to the celebration. He can talk about the memories he has of his daughter before he gives a toast to the happy couple. He then announces that the festivities can now commence. Light teasing is acceptable but again, it should never embarrass the bride. It is perfectly acceptable if other relatives or close friends want to speak at the wedding. The etiquette for wedding toasts is changing quickly. Brides can toast their new husband and her parents. This was never done in the traditional wedding etiquette. Plan for whatever is best for your family and friends.
Continue reading about The Traditional Wedding Toast Etiquette
Everyone involved in the wedding, from the bride and groom to the groomsmen, bridesmaids and the guests, is subject to these certain rules of etiquette to ensure that tradition is upheld and that everything goes as expected. Not following the etiquette in a traditional ceremony could result in hurt feelings.
One key thing to remember, if you are a part of the wedding party, ie. a bridesmaid or groomsman, that the day isn’t about you. It’s about the couple being married. Essentially, you are there to support the bride and groom and do what you can to make things easier on them. Causing a scene, upstaging the couple or stealing their thunder is completely unacceptable and any such behavior should be avoided at all costs.
During the ceremony, the guests must be aware of their actions and behavior. Certain things like getting up to use the restroom, whispering, or falling asleep can be a distraction for everyone around you. There is nothing worse than being distracted by a guest insisting on making everyone in their row move so they can get up and use the restroom. Cell phones should be turned off as well, to prevent any unexpected interruptions.
If you are the mother and father of the bride or groom, you need to be especially mindful of your behavior during the ceremony. Keep in mind that the attention should be focused on the bride and groom, NOT on you. Every time you sniffle, cry or make any other noise you take away from the ceremony. The last thing you want the guests remembering at the ceremony is how the mother of the bride caused a scene by breaking down during the vows.
For the bride and groom, keep in mind that everyone in attendance are your guests, and should be treated as such. Yes, they are there for you, but at the same time you should ensure that everyone is comfortable both during the ceremony and the reception afterwards. Try to put yourself in their shoes. What would you like at a wedding or reception as a guest? Is the seating comfortable? Are there enough entree choices to cater to vegetarians or any other dietary issues? What have you done to make your guests feel welcome and appreciated? Always make sure to make the rounds to each table and thank everyone for coming.
Generally, the bride and groom have registered at a store for gifts that they feel would be beneficial to their new life and new home together. When shopping for gifts, guests should do their best to stick to the registry as best they can. Most couples understand that not everything they want will be in everyone’s price range, and so will put a few smaller items on the list. If you are unable to find something on the gift registry, then a gift of cash is always acceptable. Just don’t go overboard.